Morning Stroll

Had a parcel to post today, so set out for the Post Office at 10am for what should have been the 20 minute gentle stroll there and back. This turned into a 3 hour hike - due not to any detours, but only to the incomprehensibly slow pace of Boy, who acts as if sitting in the double buggy is an admission of weakness and takes any encouragement to do so as a personal slight. After keeping Mammy and Daddy awake for most of the night, Girl passes out the second we step out the front door and stays asleep for most of the morning.

The 2km walk to the shops has its own familiar waypoints. Stage One is the tantrum that invariably occurs as we pass the first coffee shop and Boy realises we are walking straight past. Stage two is The Wall. The Wall is an excellent distractor from Stage One. Its primary reasons for being are to be walked upon or jumped off, although today it manages a hat trick, serving as train tracks for Wilson-Chugger. Chatsworth lies neglected in Boy's buggy seat. Action Chugger lies in the river, where Boy threw him during Stage Four last week.

A single early tulip has somehow appeared in someone's garden and I show Boy how to smell it. For the rest of the morning he stops and sniffs every plant, blade of grass, mossy wall and ivy covered telegraph pole, letting his breath go with a delighted "ahhh". I draw the line and the old cigarette butt he picks up to sniff.

Stage Three is the third coffee shop. By this time Girl is snoring hard, Boy is practically walking backwards he's so slow, and I am desperate for a breather."The usual?" calls the waitress as we enter, reminding me just a little too hard that we come in here just a little too often. Boy remembers his manners: "Peas", as his espresso cup of milk is set down in front of him. When the toast arrives he bawls "Mammylade! Mammylade!" but the waitress is on the ball and three little portions of marmalade appear immediately. I hide two of them, as usual.

When Girl wakes up and unabashedly steals the last of the toast it's time to leave and resume the snail's crawl to Stage Four: the river. We used to feed the ducks at the bridge regularly until one day I realised there wasn't a duck in sight and Boy was just as happy standing by the river eating stale bread. Now I just use "The Ducks!" as a way to keep him moving in the right direction. By the time we reach the river the shops are finally in view and it's a race to get to the post office before it closes for lunch.

Stage Five: just yards from the post office an escalator beckons and Boy takes the requisite tantrum. Luckily the tractor ride provides a speedy distraction. I have never yet put any money in the tractor ride, but that doesn't seem to bother Boy and finally at five minutes to 12 we reach the Post Office. The Long Walk Home follows much the same pattern, although we manage without a coffee break. Wilson-Chugger gets driven along the walls and windowsills of the opposite side of the road and by the time we reach home Boy has finally succumbed to the buggy, ready to pass out for his afternoon nap, while Girl decides this would be a splendid time to wake up, just in case Mammy got ideas above her station, like the possibility of getting some shut-eye herself. Ah the joys.